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Wednesday, April 13, 2011

One Drunk Ass Baby

Have you heard about the world's luckiest baby who was served a margarita without being carded or even having to ask for it? This baby has my dream life. At an Applebee's in Michigan, a baby was mistakenly served a margarita instead of the apple juice his mother had ordered for him. I guess after a few sips of the sweet nectar known as Tequila, the 15-month-old boy started acting strangely. Although it is not official, I feel certain that the baby started drunk texting and coming on to the 8-month old girl at the next booth. In addition, his words were slurred and he was drooling. The mother opened up his sippy cup and realized that her baby was on the road to an AA meeting and he didn't even have his driver's license yet. Of course she complained (as she should have) and the manager apologized (as he should have.) The mother had this pearl of wisdom to say: "Nobody at the table ordered alcoholic drinks, so he definitely shouldn't have received one." Brilliant, mom. Like if someone had ordered a margarita it might be a little bit more understandable why they poured a freakin' margarita into a sippy cup and then gave it to the person in the high chair? But since no one ordered anything from the bar, it was extra super wrong for this to happen.

They took the baby to the hospital where his blood alcohol level was .10 -- over the legal limit for an adult driver. Hopefully, they took away the keys to his Big Wheel because parents don't let babies drive drunk. The kid was fine despite the massive hangover he had the next morning. The baby was quoted as saying, "Why do I always think I can handle that last cocktail? Never again. I need a Big Mac to soak up some of this alcohol. Mom, can I get a Happy Meal?" The mother reminded him that the Happy Meal may or may not have a toy in it. The baby replied by puking and crawling into the kitchen to make a Bloody Mary. "A little hair of the dog, then," said the lushy toddler.

No word on what Applebee's has done to make sure this does not happen again. I suspect more training will come into play where they will potentially ask to see some identification from anyone who orders a drink, alcoholic or otherwise. I would also suggest that they offer this baby a lifetime supply of Rose's Lime juice, triple sec and house tequila since they are the ones who introduced the kid to the joys of cocktails. Or to appease his mom, next time they could just slide him and apple martini.

Thanks to everyone who sent this in.



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20 comments:

Chunky Mama said...

The thing is, this is NOT the first time this has happened at an Applebee's. The exact same situation went down at a different store location in 2007. That kid was 2 yrs old and did not ingest as much because his parents realized he didn't like the taste of his apple juice.
PLEASE tell me how the fuck this could happen EVER, not to mention more than once in the same chain??

Mark W said...

I'll tell you how it happened. It's quite easy, actually, and once I explain it, you'll see that it's not so hard to do.

Working an all day shift on Saturday's, as you know, sucks. What makes it more bearable is accidentally double ordering the margarita for table 21. You then ring up a smoothy for yourself.

You pick them up at the same time. Bring them back to your servers station. Pour the smoothy down the drain, pour the extra margarita in a kids cup, and set it aside. You then sip on the margarita in the kids cup, and when anyone asks, you say it's your smoothy, you put it in the kids cup to keep it from spilling or getting anything in it. (Not that I'd ever do such a thing.)

You (or someone in your servers station) get's a 10 top with 5 kids. The kids drinks get set down next to your margarita in the kids cup. Then, when putting them all on the servers tray, someone picks up the margarita instead of the actual kids drink.

And voila, instant headline!

Kitten with a Whisk said...

So wrong but so effing funny.

Noelle said...

I saw this and of course spawned a discussion at work. They must have some sort of product control issue. I suspect the same kind container is used to store both items and labels were not removed. I do think it's a little weird whoever pour it into the sippy cup didn't smell the tequila. It's kinda stinky. It smells nothing like apple juice.

Steve said...

What a careless thing to do! Applebee’s should be thankful that the child didn’t suffer serious harm from this incident. Clearly, the company’s policies and procedures relating to alcohol need to be closely examined, and the people responsible need to be fired!

Drea said...

In all seriousness, i can tell you exactly how it happened. I work at an applebees, sometimes in the bar. All the juices and mixers are in plastic bar pour containers, all the containers are identical, Our 'rocks' mix has triple sec in it...the only way you can tell it has alcohol in it is because it's labelled 'rocks' mix and it has black tape on the container. All the containers sit right next to each other. If the bartender was busy, maybe she wasnt paying attention, and she accidentally poured rocks mix in to the kids cup and it was delivered.

some people think triple sec aint shit...but after all, this is a damn baby we are talking about here. a little bit of anything would have gotten him shnockered.

to prevent this, our company now serves juice boxes. Boom, Done...no more drunk babies...

i think it was stupid to have the juices back there like that in the first place..i mean, we are so damn busy why the hell do you want the bartenders wasting time filling up bar pourers with apple juice every 4 or 5 times they have to make a kids apple juice. that shit is ridiculous.

here is what i DONT get about this whole thing..

ok, Our kids cups, company wide...are CLEAR. rocks mix is 'margarita' green and last time i checked apple juice was still some kind of fucked up beige color...why did the server, bartender, person who ran the drink from the bar, OR THE DAMN PARENTS notice that the kid was drinking green fucking juice... that was an all around fuck up

Surviving the Journey of Life said...

This post made my day! It's terrible that it happened but your take on it is absolutely hilarious. I love reading your posts!

zena said...

The 18 year old mom was probably too busy talking to her friends to notice her kid's juice was green. I fucking hate Applebee's. I'll starve before I step into one of those shitholes.

Mary A. said...

My first thought was "I bet that mom reallllllly pissed off the server. . . "

Phoenix said...

Ha ha awesome! I knew a guy who was bringing a tray of drinks out onto the floor and a beer mug slipped off the tray, the outside corner of the mug hit the ground first which made the beer shoot out... all over a baby. The best part about it though is that the mother was more pissed about the few spots that landed on her self-proclaimed expensive jacket ,than her baby being drenched in beer. Puhlease, no one wears expensive jackets into Chili's.

Jasmine said...

It just happened again. This time at Olive Garden. http://wendyista.blogspot.com/2011/04/baby-gets-drunk-at-olive-garden.html

The Empress said...

Well, I suppose that is one way to shut those little scone grabbers the hell up ; )

Little redhead said...

I'm absolutely baffles as to how this could have possibly happened. Who pours a margarita into a sippy cup? Did the bartender think it was for a toothless elderly person who likes a good cocktaill? And why is the applejuice anywhere near the cocktails anyway? Don't the parents just pour the bottle/juice box into the sippy cup themselves? Accidents like this would never happen then.

EN said...

I've had this happen to me- but with an adult not a kid.

We ordered a non-alcoholic cocktail for a friend who doesn't drink out of choice.

He drinks it, thinks its quite strong but doesn't realise anything is wrong.

About 5 minutes later the waiter is back asking about whether any of us are driving etc. and explains that he picked up the wrong drink from the bar and we got the alcoholic version of the cocktail.

Luckily friend wasn't going to be driving for a few hours. We had the bartender tell us how many units it had in it and calculated from that when he would be ok to drive again.

Maria said...

"This baby has my dream life." LOL!!!

The Restaurant Manager said...

"Hopefully, they took away the keys to his Big Wheel because parents don't let babies drive drunk." <-- Very funny!!

Anonymous said...

Why do parents expect the restaurant to fill their sippy cups? Shouldn't they order the beverage and do it themselves? Just curious.

Peace said...

I will confess:

My father gave me wine as an infant so I'd develop a taste for it in adult life. I've had wine and alcohol all during my childhood, but usually watered down at least 50%.

I remember being tipsy at family parties as a kid.

When I was in high school, I could serve myself wine and cognac, as long as I moderated myself. If I did something stupid, my father would cut off the wine and cognac.

My family is French. I have a healthy respect for alcohol as an adult. It is something to be respected and savored in moderation.

I guess they were teaching that kid early, as my family ;-)

Former Fat Girl said...

Nice. I live in Michigan. I'll make sure to watch what my daughter actually gets to drink if we ever venture into an Applebee's again.

E.Rigby said...

Who doesn't notice the apple juice looks a lil offish????? As a mom I check it out...granted IHOP never serves my kid alcohol and I might welcome the break when she passes out in her durnken haze....