So my vacation officially starts today and I had already planned to have a repost happen. However, divinity stepped in and inspired me to write one more thing before I switch over to automatic (read: lame ass) pilot. I was on the F train yesterday headed out to Brooklyn to drop the dog at the kennel. The train was packed with people who were on their way to the loveliness that is Coney Island. By the way, this has nothing to do with waiting tables, but it does have to do with annoying parents and obnoxious children and the two pretty much go hand in hand.
It baffles me that so many people will have children and then treat those children like complete and total dirt. There were two moms on the train with their cumulative five kids. The one mom that was across from me was wearing the requisite fat lady outfit of tight blouse and black stretch pants. When a woman gets over a certain weight, do they just automatically receive black stretch pants in the mail? Is that how it works? Her shirt was black and white horizontal stripes and she was looking like the Pillsbury Dough Zebra. I think she missed the mass text that said horizontal is not flattering. She had on earphones so she was talking way too loud to the other mother. She would ask her a question and then say "wha?" when she couldn't hear the answer. She'd roll her eyes and sigh because she had to physically exert herself to remove the earphones, but then she would put them back in, ask a question and say "wha?" again. Stupid. Her daughter was about four years old and really fat. It makes me sad when I see an obese kid because I know that the only reason they are like that is because of what the parent feeds them. And sure enough. When the little girl started to cry, the mother got her to be quiet by giving her a McDonald's apple pie.
The other mom spent the whole time yelling at her kids to shut up. She had a baby in a stroller who was screaming at the top of his lungs the whole ride. Like everyone on the train was looking at each other with that knowing glance that says, "damn, that lady is one crappy ass mother." The screaming mother had this conversation with the baby:
Mother: Shut the hell up!
Mother: Whad are youse freakin' cryin' 'bout? You the only one even comfortable here with a seat.
Mother: I don't even like you!
Now, I am not fluent in baby or anything but I am pretty sure he was saying, "oh my God, I can't wait until I am old enough to walk so I can run away from home. Seriously? You're my mother? Somebody save me. Shaken baby syndrome would be better than living with this bitch." I felt bad for those kids. I imagined them in my station and how awful they would be because the mothers didn't know how to teach their kids. I felt really bad. For some reason it made me sad and I got a bit teary eyed. As the water welled up in the corner of my eye, ready to make its way down my cheek I suddenly remembered I was starting my vacation. Woo hooo!! Vacation, here I come!
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