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Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Homosexual Hounds

Vacation is going swimmingly well. While I am at the pool, why don't you read about some gay dog in Australia.

The Bitchy Waiter

I was perusing the internet news the other day trying to find something to pique my interest when I came across a news item that happened at a restaurant down under. In Australia. I don't know what those people are sprinkling on their Vegemite sandwiches, but they might be a bit crazy. But then again all my knowledge about Australia comes from Crocodile Dundee and Men at Work so what do I know?

Apparently, this blind man wanted to go eat at a Thai restaurant so he asked a waiter if it would be alright if he came in with his guide dog. (There was a sign saying guide dogs were welcomed, but maybe someone missed the memo that said blind people don't read signs. It's like those signs on the subway that ask if you want to learn how to read and speak English, but the sign is in English so anyone who may benefit from the sign can't fucking read the sign. Vicious vicious circle. Anyhoo.) So the waiter went to ask the owners if it was alright for the dog to come in but he didn't hear the word "guide" dog. The stupid ass waiter heard "gay" dog. Uh huh. And then the owners said no the dog couldn't come in because it was gay. Okay, all together now: what the fuckity fuck fuck? This is wrong on so many levels. Even if this was an actual homosexual canine who liked to get it on with members of the same sex, why would that be the reason the dog couldn't come in? They were going to persecute this dog because they thought it was gay? How stupid was the waiter to see a blind man and not know that it was a guide dog? Now if Elton John had sashayed into the restaurant wearing a frilly frock while holding a dildo and a big pink poodle, sure: gay dog. But a blind man with sunglasses, a cane and a dog with a handle on it? Gay dog? No, dumb ass. Guide dog.

The man left the restaurant and then presumably filed a complaint and blah blah blah. But when the owners were explaining the situation to the court, they said if they would have known it was a guide dog, it would have been fine. They just thought the dog was gay and that was why it wasn't welcome. I don't know these restaurant owners, but I pretty much hate them. They seem small minded, ignorant, rude and clueless. Basically, your typical restaurant owner/manager. They had to issue the blind dude an apology and pay him $1400 in compensation. And in Australia, $1400 buys a lot of Vegemite.

And in case you are wondering, Vegemite is is "a dark brown Australian food paste made from yeast extract. It is a spread for sandwiches, toast, crumpets and cracker biscuits and and filling for pastries." Thanks Wikipedia.

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California Girl said...

You're hilarious. I particularly like the line, "What the fuckety fuck fuck?"

Am sending your post to my blogger friend in Aussie land.

Queen of the Rant said...

I love this, you are effin hilarious. Gay dog, I wonder what would happen if it was a gay guide dog???

Melanie said...

"...holding a dildo and a big pink poodle"

Ahahaha~ Beware the man holding these!

Even for a recycled post, this was hilarious!
Thanks for the laugh :)

Mary A. said...

Soooo. . .. straight dogs are OK? What about Bi-dogs? Transgender dogs?

I just want to be perfectly clear.

Name: female, not even with a capital F. I shit you not! said...

Got a grin from ear to ear. :0)
Bravo! Bravo!

Ry said...

I love everything about this story. There should be a support group for gay dogs

Jessica said...

Haha, actually I was indeed wondering what Vegamite was. Thank you!

Baino said...

Erm California Girl did indeed send the article. It's quite true but apparently, the objection was not to the 'gay' dog but the 'guide' dog. The poor English spoken by the waiter was totally misunderstood. Still, guide dogs are permitted by law in places where dogs are not normally allowed so hope the dickhead got his cummupence for being such a twit.

The Frisky Virgin said...

I'm just totally floored that the owners would turn a dog away because they thought it was gay!!! Can't stop shaking my head over that one. The whole thing is just awful...and funny...and offensive...and the list goes on.

Fanantique- By Elizabeth Lamb said...

That is too funny...I am in Australia and we are generally very gay friendly...(dogs and people) ever seen the Sydney Mardi Gras? Google it.
I admit we do have some silly waiters though...only the other night a friend had her fries stolen from her plate from the waiter who couldn't resist eating them! (it was his favorite dipping sauce he explained..and yes he dipped his fry in her sauce!)

Anonymous said...


Keda said...

In South Africa we call it Marmite. love it! It's a family favourite.

As for the gay dog, yes, well, what can I say. holding a dildo and a big pink poodle - ROFL

Derby Wallus said...

I tried veggimite at a girlguide camp once. Nastiest shit I have ever put in my mouth. =O

Anonymous said...