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Saturday, July 3, 2010

Dream Dream Dream


All of us servers have had that dreaded dream where we are the only person on the floor and the restaurant is humongous and the customers won't stop coming in. And then you wake up and realize it was only a dream but then as soon as you fall asleep again you are right back where you left off with a hundred tables all flagging you down to place an order. Those dreams suck and it pisses me off that in my own personal sleepy time, my job interferes. I had one last night. I had a dream. A dream about you, baby.

It wasn't the usual restaurant dream. This time I was serving in a private home. It was for four women who seemed like the type who would have written this shit. I was in this house taking their orders as they sat in their eat-in kitchen. I don't know which women owned the home but it was not a pretty home. It looked like those houses that show up on House Hunters on HGTV that are $129,000 in Podunk, Texas. One of those episodes where they have three houses to choose from but they all look exactly the same; vaulted popcorn ceilings, oak cabinets and wallpaper borders. And the women always fall in love with the kitchen as long as it has fucking granite counter tops. Never mind the avocado green appliances; as long as it has granite counter tops, they love it. (Another annoying thing about that show is when the boring ass couples look at the closet in the bedroom and the wife always says, "well there's enough room for my clothes. I don't know about you, honey. Ha ha ha...") Anyhoo, back to my dream. I had to take their order and then I was supposed to take a bus to the kitchen and the bus only came every half hour. So as one lady is trying to decide what she wants, I see the bus coming down the street and I know that if I don't get on it, I will have to wait thirty minutes before I can place the order with the kitchen. She is hemming and hawing and I am watching the bus out of the corner of my eye pulling up in the front yard. As the bus pulled away, the lady finally decided she wanted a salad but it was too late. I missed the bus and couldn't ring in the check. So I was stuck in the house with them while waiting for the next bus and the whole time they were bitching that their food was taking so long. Even though they knew I had missed the bus and wasn't able to place their orders.


I don't really remember the rest of the dream. And I certainly don't know what it meant. Can anyone tell me there is no doubt what your dreams are all about? I woke up grumpy because not only had I dreamed about waiting tables, my brain had created this ugly ass house that I was working in. How could my tasteful mind design this horribly ugly home? I was disappointed in myself. My life has killed the dream I dreamed.

Bonus points to anyone who can identify the three musical theater references in this post. The prize? My undying respect.


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14 comments:

the career waitress said...

i just posted about a restaurant dream i had, and then i saw you'd done the same. Funny yet sad how this job takes over your brain.

Amy B. said...

Well that would be Gypsy, Joseph and the Amazing Yada Yada, and Les Mis. Clever you!

Levonne said...

Well...I can't identify the references but...many years ago I was told by a reliable source that "you are everyone and everything in your dreams." Since then, I have critiqued my dreams from that belief. And you know what? It seems to fit! Happy 4th Bitchy Waiter!

The Bitchy Waiter said...

Way to go Amy B!

The Ranter's Box said...

When I'm not working to advance my career or trolling online to find fascinating topics for my blog, I "play" an armchair dream analysis expert on the internet. In my highly scientific opinion (not) I would say that your dream means that on a subconscious level some part of you feels that perhaps you are 'missing the bus' by wasting time in your current endeavor as a waiter... While there is nothing wrong with waiting tables you are one very talented writer and could probably take your blog posts and turn them into a best-selling book. I know that I for one would buy your book! Just something to think about. Happy 4th Bitchy Waiter!!! - The Ranter's Box

alexa. said...

Gypsy, Joseph, and Les Mis. I'd say "Great shows!" but you had to throw in Andrew Lloyd Webber... *sigh*...

dirtydisher said...

How do you always know what I am thinking??? I'm supposed to be the psychic. Geez louise.

Lisa P said...

I have similar dreams of serving and being uber busy and forgetting to put orders in etc .... BUT I haven't been a server for over EIGHT YEARS! Argh!

Drewcifer said...

I've been out of the business (thankfully) for about four years now, but I still have those recurring dreams where I'm back at some restaurant constantly in the weeds. I hate it!

Ing said...

He knows all! He sees all!
I once had to wait tables by crossing a motorway to a garage - in a dream...

TwisterB said...

Gypsy (amazing)
Joseph (not so much)
Les mis (also amazing)

It helps that you highlighted them tho :P

Queen of the Rant said...

I would not get disappointed, it is only natural to dream of an ugly house with bad women in it, it was a nightmare, you cant have a dream home in a nightmare right??

Kathy said...

I have waited tables and worked in fast food. I used to work at a fast food restaurant working the drive thru (I was married at the time). One night I dreamed I was still at the drive thru window and I was actually trying to hand things out of the bedroom window in my sleep! My husband woke me up to find out why I was talking and handing things out the window from bed! It's certainly a part of you.

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