Wednesday, July 20, 2011

How To Quit Your Job at Taco Bell

Not since the Jet Blue guy quit his bitch of a job via the emergency exit slide of an airplane, have we had such a hero to worship at the feet of. But now that has changed. A guy named Adam left his resignation letter to Taco Bell in a very creative way. He didn't write it on a bev nap as I did to excuse myself from Houlihan's. He didn't email it. He didn't Fed Ex it. In fact, he really didn't even write a letter. He put it on the sign in front of the restaurant (like Taco Bell is a restaurant...) so instead of customers seeing "Gorditas for $1.99" they saw a big ol' "I Quit, Fuck You." He followed that with a smiley face so it wasn't completely rude. It was said that he had worked 22 days in a row and was denied having off for the Fourth of July. Right there with you Adam. How dare Taco Bell keep you from celebrating the birth of your country. It must be because they are a Mexican "restaurant." If you'd have asked off for Cinco de Mayo or Mexican Independence Day, it would have been no big deal. They would have done it and given you a free side of guacamole too. But the Fourth of July? No way, Jose. Lo siento in a big way, but get your ass back in the kitchen and make me a chalupa.

None of us were there, so we can only imagine what went down when he asked for the day off.

Adam: Hey, manager, can I like have the fourth of July off?

Manager: No.

Adam: Dude, c'mon. I've been working for like 22 days in a row. That's like two and half weeks, what the fuck?

Manager: Do not use that language in our establishment. I will give you a demerit and put it in your permanent record.

Adam: Okay, so what if I like volunteer to work on Labor Day? Then can I be off on the fourth? My friends are having this totally awesome pool party and I told them that I would bring the tacos.

Manager: No. Go clean the bathrooms, Adam.

Adam: No way, man. It's totally not my turn to clean the bathrooms. Let that new chick with the mustache do it. I'd rather clean out the grease trap or mop the walk-in.

Manager: Do I sense insubordination?

Adam: Dude, like I even know what that is. So seriously can I have off on the fourth of July?

Managaer: No, now go count the tortillas. And because I am sensing some attitude from you, I am going to take away your break today and your Enchirito will no longer be half price.

Adam: That blows! I have to pay full price for my Enchirito? No fuckin' way, dude. This sucks. I knew I should have worked at Wendy's.

Manager: Do not make me write you up, Adam.

Adam: Yes, sir. I'm sorry. I am going to go clean the bathrooms now, right after I go change the sign for today's special.

Manager: Thank you, Adam. I am happy to see you take the initiative since I know that you are not on signage duty today. I commend your maturity. Keep it up and within six or nine months you could be head cashier and in charge of Mexican Pizzas. Good job, Adam. Now go change that sign with pride. Go Taco Bell!

Adam: Yeah, uh huh.

So that is toatlly how it probably went down. Adam went right out to the sign and took a virtual dump on his job. I hope he had a good time on the fourth of July. And Adam, if you read this, please contact me at sideofmustard@gmail.com because I want to tell you how cool you are and interview you as well.


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16 comments:

Mary A. said...

I am torn between my love of Taco Bell and my love of the way he quit.

Must. . .eat. . .Nachos Bell Grande. . .

lapetitefée said...

I'm real boring and one day I walked into HR and just said "I'm coming in to quit"; I gave them sufficient notice of changes to my schedule, even told my manager, and it was completely ignored

Pretty much everyone else I gave 2-weeks notice because that is the proper thing to do.

2newfies said...

Sigh, widh I could have quit so well. I left a note for the exec chef saying "I don't work at a place that serves fuzzy blue creme bruleees"

Amanda said...

Adam is awesome. I once worked at a Taco Bell in college - for 4 hours. My first shift I was in charge of making sure there were enough clean trays and cleaning the "dining room" and bathrooms. By the end of the shift I was learning to make food. I was told no one had mastered the cleaning in one shift before. After I left that night, I knew I was done. I wasn't that desperate. I also never ate there again after the guy in the back saw me cleaning each tray and told me that he usually just rinses them with water and calls it good. The manager called me to pick up some extra shifts the next day, and I told him I'd be returning that godawful uniform instead.

Natascha De Marco said...

Adam I will name my kid after you.

KB said...

Adam rocks. My story: I once-upon-a-time gave my employer a written resignation and told him, during my exit interview, that if he'd been my boyfriend I would have broken up with him a long time ago. Maybe you had to be there...

Critts said...

That's is awesome. We need more Adam's in this world!

The Empress said...

Go Adam! Let's hope he contacts you. If his interview skills are as creative as his job quitting skills (and your brilliant writing) then this will be a post to be remembered!

Mind Of Mine said...

I wonder what Taco Bell's official statement on this situation would be.

Nexxxus Ramblings said...

Go Adam....and thank you for the hysterical laugh today I really needed it.

fmcgmccllc said...

I hate unions with all that is holy in this world but stories like this make me long for the days of Jimmy Hoffa.

If you are going to quit a crap job go out with a bang. Loved the smiley.

The Mistress of Spices said...

Good for you, Adam! But man, now I'm craving a Mexican pizza. Yo quiero Taco Bell!

Yve said...

HAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAA!

Love it! I choose to believe that conversation is precise. Adam is wonderful and I hope he contacts you. In fact, I think you need to work harder at reaching out to him for an interview.

The CEO of the retail chain I work for made a surprise visit to our store (was in town to sign lease papers) when I was the only one working and he wasn't pleased that I didn't acknowledge him. He demanded I be fired and I was cool with that because that's an awesome way to go, but my store manager and district manager stood up for me - ugh - so I'm still there! :(

Haruka said...

I worked for Taco Bell for 7 years and my exit wasn't anywhere near as interesting (although it was a lot of fun having the manager call me up and beg me to stay. ^_^)

Anonymous said...

I love you Adam. Marry me. Especially after watching my 19 year old boss yell at me about the drive through timer while on her cell phone while mine was locked away so my mother cannot reach me while my child was home sick with a high fever. That or watching the other manager run around eating or drinking whatever she wants while I can't even have water in a closed cup because customers might see me as being too near the food area in the drive through cashier line.

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