Dear Bitchy Waiter

It's time for some heartfelt advice from The Bitchy Waiter. Do you have an issue that The Bitchy Waiter can help you with? Job, personal, relationships? You name it. You can email me here and I will answer one question a week. Or just email me to say hello. It makes me happy. Let's see what we find in the mailbag today:


Dear Bitchy Waiter,

First off, love the blog--I'm a pretty avid reader, and now whenever I type B into my address bar my computer automatically goes to you. Anyway, I'm a seventeen year old working in a childcare center, in a gym, down in Denver. My boss seemed like a pretty great person. Not so much now that I'm six months into my job. She's whiney and bossy (more than the usual boss), she's been late for the past month on paying us, and according to my friend, she just has this horrible ailment where she's eternally menstruating. In the past month shes fired five people from the gym and three more have quit. Should I be the fourth to put my two weeks in? Or should I just put up with it because it's a cushyass job? Or maybe the choice will be made for me and she'll just kick my child watching ass to the curb.

Hugs and kisses and apple martinis,

Fed Up and Fucked Over

Dear Fed up and Fucked Over,

First off, thank you for your kind words but I must respond to your apple martini comment. You are only 17 years old so you shouldn't even know what apple martinis are, child. Shame on you! Might I suggest some delicious 3.2% beer that I used to drink when I lived in The Mile High City? Anyhoo, yes. Your boss sounds like a horrible horrible person with no joy in her life. I don't know what illness she has that gives her continuous menstruation but whatever it is, she deserves it. This bleeding bitch hasn't paid you for a month and you still work there? No matter how cushyass the job is, it really doesn't matter if there is no paycheck. If you are looking for something to do that is cushy and you don't need to be paid for it, stay at home, stick a straw into a can of 3.2 Coors Light and watch Oprah. You are 17. Move on. Fuck it. That's what I would do. And two weeks notice? Why the fuck would you bother with that? If she hasn't paid you for a month, you owe this whore nothing. If she has fired five people and three others have quit in the last month, this place sounds like it's going down the tubes. Sounds like those darling kids will soon need another place to find some childcare. Go get a new job. And keep your fingers crossed that you get paid. I did a show (in Denver!) many years ago and was getting $175 a week. I was never paid for the last two weeks and I held out hope for that $350 for years and years. It never came. Trust me. Let it go. Get a new job and leave this bitch in the dust. (Don't be a waiter though. It sucks.)

Love,
The Bitchy Waiter