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Monday, October 11, 2010

The Dog Was Treated Better Than I Was

I got a really shitty tip last night. Like shitty shitty covered in dog poop kinda shitty. And I was so nice to these people too. Booth one was seated with two people; a blind man and a sighted man. (Sounds like a joke, right? A blind guy walks into a bar, see...) They told me they were waiting for two more people who were habitually late. The show was full and to start at 7:00, so I wanted their asses there as soon as possible. It was a busy night and I didn't have time to deal with latecomers. Five minutes before showtime, their guests walked in guided by a dog. They were both blind. They were seated and Lonny, the dog found his home at the side of the table. Booth one is right at the front of the room and every time a server has to walk to their station, they have to pass by it. Not an ideal place for a big black guide dog to be, but we didn't know so that's where they sat. The dog was sweet as hell but we had to step over it about twenty times throughout the night. I got drinks for the Johnny-Come-Lately's being very careful to place them in a way that they would know where they were. You know, since they can't see and all. All evening they were very pleasant to me and we were talking and connecting. All was good. Until they paid the bill.

Their bill was $202. The sighted man gave me $101 in cash and asked for the difference to be put on a credit card. I counted the cash and despite it being almost all five dollar bills, it was in fact $101. I ran the card and he signed it without leaving a tip. I assumed that the tip would be in cash. A few minutes later, Mr. Sight came up to me to hand me my tip personally. "I'm sorry, it's not very much." He shrugged his shoulders and tilted his head while raising his eyebrows and pouting his lips. (Do that please: shrug, tilt, raise, pout. See what it looks like?) "Oh don't worry about that," I said. And I meant it too. Until I looked down and saw two dollars. Two. Dollars. Wait, what? 1%? One mother fucking percent? I watched him as he helped his friends out of the club and my mouth was agape. I considered the idea that since they can't see, maybe they thought they gave me two twenties. But no. I have a blind friend who told me once that he folds each bill differently so he knows which denomination is which. I realized now that the way he said he was sorry for the tip was like "my friends are blind and have had a hard life and that's all they can afford" kinda way. No. If they could afford a $32 cover charge and two beers each, they can pony up some tip money. My co-worker wanted me to give the two bucks back with the old "you need this more than I do" but I decided to fuck that. I kept those two damn dollars. I just couldn't believe my eyes. After they left, I thought what a shame it was that we gave a booth that has a great view of the stage to three blind people. We shoulda put their asses at table 13 where all you can see is the back of the piano player. They wouldn't have cared anyway. The dog was sweet though. Guide dogs are always sweet. I wonder if he could see what a cheap owner he had.


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23 comments:

Kalei's Best Friend said...

I bet the dog knew his owner was pulling the same shi& again... Next time don't be so nice.. Just cuz he can't see doesn't mean his hearing is bad... Now was that mean? Nope.. Remember so called 'handicap' people don't want extra consideration, they want to be treated like all of us..I say that as I wade across a flooded handicapped curb... oops my bad.

Julie said...

I agree, that sucks miserably. I wish there was some protocol waiters could follow when people blatantly tip that horrendously.

Tricia said...

That's just insulting. At least if he'd left NO tip you could tell yourself that it was an accidental oversight (ba dum BUM)...but $2 on a tab like that is just RUDE.

Mary A. said...

And he gave it to you in person. Wow.

Dude's got some juevos.

Jennifer Scavone said...

ouch.

It's funny, but then not.

Sharlene T. said...

I've worked with the blind and they don't want any more consideration than anyone else when they're out and about... that said, just because someone is blind doesn't mean they can't be mean bast...s... and, yes, some will take advantage... they're not stupid... they weren't born yesterday and they know about restaurants, tips, etc. So sorry. Don't really know that I would have handled it any different from you, although I would certainly have THOUGHT of a lot of things to do!...

Donda said...

Yep that's messed up. I tipped more to my hairdresser when she gave the "Flock of Seagulls" do. You should start a bill collection on a wall, just pin up your shitty tips and one day you will have enough for your own $32 cover charge :)

Marianne said...

In years gone past I have had heavy conversations with friends who have intended to leave without tipping, for no reason other than "it's not compulsory" Unless the service has been poor, I will tip 10% and I normally do it in cash so it doesn't get taxed.
If someone can afford to go out for a meal like that, they can damn well afford to tip, it's just downright bad manners to do otherwise.

Phoenix said...

That is why I'm a big fan of getting to know the tip percentage right up front. You go up to the table "Hi my name is.... I'd like to know what percentage you will be tipping tonight. If it's 15%, I'll give you 15% tip service. Your drinks will be one time, I'll be stopping by often and will always have a pleasant attitude. If you're leaving a 1% tip... well good luck getting your drinks anytime tonight. I might stop by once or twice, if it doesn't distract me from paying attention to the other tables that are actually PAYING me to be there. And I will not be pleasant in any way shape or form. In fact I'll probably just leave you alone altogether tonight."

The Ranter's Box said...

There is no excuse for that sort of behavior. What a major DICK!

On a side note, I have a post up today that deals with our little friend "Anonymous".

Hugs, The Empress

http://rantersbox.blogspot.com

Mark W said...

I was once left $2 on a $98 check. They gave me a $100 bill, I gave them the change, they laid it on the table and started to leave. I saw it, picked it up, and said "Excuse me, you forgot your change."

The lady said "Oh, no, that's for you."

I said "No, it's not."

She said "Yes, it's your tip."

I said "No, it's REALLY not," put it in her hand and walked away.

About an hour later, her man friend came back and gave me a $20 and said he was sorry about the tip, that his friend has a "tipping problem."

That made me laugh, and the guy was cute, so I let it go.

normalee said...

in response to a previous commenter,that gives a 10% tip UNLESS they give you poor service??? Frankly, I would give a poor server a 10% tip, because 10% sucks as a tip. I really feel like 20% should be the norm for all tips, 10% is way too low. Just my humble opinion, and NO I have never been a server but I feel really bad for all the crap they have to deal with.

ChiTown Girl said...

This just pissed me off! We've always been good tippers in my family, over-tippers, even. I've never left a tip that was less than 15%, and that was when I got craptastic service. I always tried to leave at least 18%. Then, I started bartending at our family bar, and it put a whole new spin on things for me. Now, it's rare for me to leave less than 20%, sometimes even more if the server was awesome. (For example, had dinner with a couple of friends while on vacation last week. The check was $75, I gave the server %100 = 33% tip) She was a great server, and deserved it. My drink was never empty, she brought out our food quickly, she was very friendly, etc. I have no problem showing my appreciation for great service.

As far as the commenter that leaves 10%, I hope you aren't a regular anywhere cuz I guarantee they're spitting in your food and/or drinks!

ChiTown Girl said...

oops - that was supposed to be $100, not %100

A Bitch Called Mom said...

See what happens when you're nice to people? You should have been a bitch to them like you are to everyone else and they would have been afraid NOT to tip for fear of having their asses handed to them.

Steve said...

I did the pout thing and understand now why you said we had to do it.

Anonymous said...

Okay...ONCE again to people that comment like Mariane - regardless of the method of tip [cash, credit, atm] your server is STILL getting taxed on the percentage of sales you purchased. Usually to the tune of 13% - AND had to tip out the bartender and bus boy. It does not matter that you did it in cash - the tax is reported because the government/resturant ASSUMES everyone tips at least 15% on the price of drinks/dinner and they average for cheapskates that don't tip, people that under tip the average [such as yourself] and ones that over tip.

You START at 15% for good, reasonable service and move up to 20% for great. 10% is a joke because you aren't doing your waiter any favors by thinking they aren't getting taxed because you paid in cash. They are.

Why does this have to be repeated so often?

Sorry - I just get tired of people that read waitering blogs that don't know this and think they are SO wonderful because they tipped in cash and did it at 10%.

Alexa O said...

Wow, 10% unless it's poor service... See, THIS is why women have a reputation for being lousy tippers....(Not ALL women of course, but if you've ever had Red Hat Ladies in your section, you KNOW what I'm talking about.)

Be generous. Not only does it cost you very little (generally it's the difference of a few bucks), but it is appropriate to pay people for services rendered.

Plus, it's classy. I've never understood why some people think they can impress others by being cheap with the server. They think it's a mark of their superiority to treat the server like a serVANT.

It isn't. Classy people tip well. Always.

danielle said...

Ugh. That Marianne girl pissed me off more than the story did!
So proud of herself for tipping 10%!!! Woowee! Idiot.

Cheap asshole. I cringe for the servers and bartenders who have to take care of her and her friends.

weare138 said...

OH OH OH I've run into this in 'real life' AND online, actually; it's a really weird stereotype but blind people tip like shit! I've seen other blogs mention it, too. When I used to serve I had a (really nice) blind guy come in, had me walk him through the menu and stuff (cuz it wasn't in braille), had me read the check to him, had me call him a freakin cab, etc... and left me like the 53 cents change.
Look it up! I've also heard/witnessed that deaf people consistently tip more than 15%. I am so aware how odd this sounds, but it's true!

Jules said...

Marianne - 10%? In the US? No, not acceptable. I'm so tired of hearing all the inane excuses about minimum wage and what is and isn't taxed and who "deserves" what, etc etc. Show some fucking compassion and common decency for your fellow human beings who are struggling to make it through life just like the rest of us.

Jeff said...

Next time seat the dog up front and the rest of them in the ALLEY!

holly said...

how about you rerun that credit card for the $202 and keep the $101 as the tip? that's what i would do (also could be part of the reason i'm not a server anymore)