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Saturday, October 2, 2010

Frazzled But Happy Stay-at-Home Mom

Heavens to Betsy, is it October already? My goodness, how has school already been in session for a whole month? And here I am not even started on the kids' Halloween costumes! Suzy Lou is going to be a gypsy and Billy Boo will be a hobo. They will look so adorable and I will make sure I post pictures of the kids. And before you ask, of course I am going to make their costumes from scratch. At first they wanted to just go to the Wal-Mart and buy their costumes. Billy wanted to be something called Iron Man and Suzy wanted to be a Pussy Cat Doll, but after some persuading they finally agreed that my ideas are much better. Cuter for sure, LOL.

Tomorrow the whole family is getting into the mini--van and driving to the local pumpkin patch to choose our jack-o-lantern. It will be so much fun. I have already made candied apples for the road and tomorrow morning I will make some homemade apple cider to put in our family size thermos. Goody! Hopefully hubby will be able to join us this year. Last year he got a tummy ache at the last minute and wasn't able to go. The poor thing had to stay in bed all day while we spent the afternoon admiring the fall colors and going on a hayride. He really wanted to go too, I could tell. But I insisted that he stay at home and take care of himself. He promised he would stay in bed all day even though we would be out having fun. I took down the Honey Do List from the refrigerator and made him pinky swear that he would not get off of that mattress. And when we got home, he was sound asleep in bed just as I knew he would be. The covers were a mess so I knew he had been tossing and turning all day. He must have had a terrible dream with night sweats because the sheets were even damp in a couple of places. And the bedroom had that funny bedroom smell that it gets sometimes. He told me that he stayed in bed the whole day and that when he wanted a drink of water he didn't want to break his promise. So what did he do? He called our neighbor Gloria over to get one for him. (Gloria, you are the sweetest divorcée I know and thank you for dropping what you were doing to come help hubby. And by the way, if your washing machine is still broken you can use ours anytime. Just don't forget your brassiere this time, silly goose!) Anyhoo, this year hubby will be fine for our Autumnal outing, (I wuv you, Hubby! Can't wait for tomorrow!)

Well, I must be going. It's Saturday and I haven't even baked my bread, ironed my sheets, waxed the floor or clipped my coupons yet. Hubby worked late last night so I let him sleep in today and I mowed the lawn for him this morning. Rest up, sweetie! Tomorrow we get to go find a pumpkin, pun'kin! LOL!

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16 comments:

carmar76 said...

*snortle* I'm thinking Frazzled needs to cut that Gloria floozy. And maybe the hubs.

Anonymous said...

That's hilarious......husband cheating around and she's just still so happy go lucky!

Ela said...

Your "Frazzled But Happy Stay-at-Home Mom" posts always get me laughing.

Donda said...

For the love of vodka...what if? BW, your storytelling always dazzles me!

Bagel Fairy said...

As much as I miss BW, I am pleased to see the return of the FBHSAHM.

Mary A. said...

Love FBSAHM!

Her DH is such an asshole! LOL!

J9 said...

OK, I hope FBHSAHM gets a clue at some point and becomes SAPOWM (Single And Pissed Off Working Mom).

dirtydisher said...

I love frazzled but gullib...err..happy. Please tell us that's what you'll be for Halloween, with pic.

Uninspired Blogger said...

You can't possibly be serious?! you are totally making this sh*t up, no one can be that gullible. Please tell me there isn't an actual post like that... please?

Anonymous said...

For reals, who is even like this? I am a stay at home mom, and this is not what it is like. why do you always have to paint a picture of a really disfunctional family? My husband works hard to support us, and I work hard to teach our kids... Your crazy if you think stay at home moms are actually like that.

ChiTown Girl said...

Wow...first of all, anonymous #2 is a straight up asshat if she can't figure out this was written purely for our entertainment. Loosen up a little, honey! I can't figure out why someone with obviously NO sense of humor would even be reading this blog.

Anyhoo, this was freakin' hilarious!!! I had to go back and read all of the FBHSAHM posts, and you, sir, are a genius!

Sucker said...

Thank you. God was kind when he sent us the FBHSAHM.

~Sucker

Anonymous said...

What is so amazing to me is that FBHSAHM didn't even mention having to draw up all of her lesson plans for home schooling the children. She must have done that late into the night while everyone else was asleep. And then there's getting the Sunday finery pressed so everyone can look pretty at church before coming home to a baked dinner (or is it crockpot this week?). Thanks for giving us a role model that we all can relate to.

Because of Calvary,
Christine O'Donnell

bamazalea said...

You came so close to painting my life! Making the costumes....going to the patch to get our pumpkin....getting everyone ready for the week. But... I can promise you that there ain't no "laundry" getting done in this house unless it's MY laundry. And his azz ain't staying in bed all day either - I make him go to the damn patch and suffer right along beside me. You could call me the Pissy Ass Stay At Home Mom INOV (In need of valium)

The Ranter's Box said...

Sounds like Frazzled Mom needs to start f*cking the mail man.
Great post! xo The Empress

http://rantersbox.blogspot.com

A Bitch Called Mom said...

@J9 - I hope she becomes the Knife-Wielding Don't Even Fucking Think About It Mom.