I went out to dinner Thursday night for some much needed organic hamburger action and Berry Cosmos. I chowed down on that burger but used a fork and knife because I am so dainty and shit. Sitting at the bar and scanning the room to check out all the servers and pity them because they were at work and having to drink their Berry Cosmos out of paper cups hidden behind computers while I drank mine out in the open, my gaze fell upon a nine-top that was seated a few tables away. The woman at the end of the table appeared to be knitting. I was all, "who the fuck is knitting in a restaurant?" when I realized the answer was the other eight people she was sitting with. These bitches was all having a freaking knitting circle at the restaurant. They weren't even old ladies, although that would have only made a little bit more sense. These women were in their late 20's/early 30's and knit one pearl two-in' all over the place. Allow me to correct myself. There were eight ladies knitting and one man knitting. The man really fit in with his handlebar mustache and big gold hoop earring. Was this a bad dream? Was I really seeing a man with a handlebar mustache knitting while I am sitting a few feet away in a reasonably hip restaurant and having a cocktail?
When the waiter came out with their food he was forced to wait a couple of minutes while they slowly put away their yarn and needles and finished up the row they were each working on. Now I am not a mind reader, but I am pretty sure that the waiter was thinking, "Hurry up and put your shit away so I can put down your goddamn food. What the fuck are you doing here anyway? You're in a freakin' knitting circle. Shouldn't you be at a retirement home or in 1940?" Again, I am not psychic, but I got that vibe from the airwaves. They finally cleared away their crafts and stared eating. Well, all except for Handlebar Harry. He kept knitting. I guess it was imperative that he finished his masterpiece sofa throw right then and there and food be damned! Eventually, he ate a little bit, but you could see in his eyes that he would rather be knitting. As the rest of the table finished their food and the waiter cleared the table, the knitting came out again.
Perhaps this is the new social thing. Did I miss the mass Facebook message that told me that knitting in large groups at public places is cool? If so, I will jump right on board with it because I desperately seek attention. The next time I go to brunch, I will be taking all my scrapbooking supplies. Mimosas and crafts. What can be better?
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