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Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Dancing With The Bitchy Waiter

I can't write today because I picked up this really odd job for three days where I will be selling really expensive jewelry at a convention center. God bless Craigslist. I have worked for her before. It's like selling food but instead of a burger on a tray, I am carrying $10,000 worth of necklaces. I dropped a tray last time and realized I was scooping up precious jewels in the same way I would scoop up greasy french fries. Even though I had to get up at 6:45 this morning, I stayed up way too late though in order to watch Carol Brady on Dancing With the Stars. She kinda sucked. But I loved her. Sorry about this lame post. But I must sell jewels today...

I do not watch Dancing With the Stars because I pride myself on not watching vapid and useless reality television. (Not including America's Next Top Model, Make Me a Supermodel, Project Runway, Top Chef, American Idol, So You Think You Can Dance, Survivor, Wipeout, Design Star, The Next Food Network Star and 16 and Pregnant because I never miss any of those.) But I have never ever stooped so low as to watch Dancing With the Semi-Stars. Okay, I did watch it that one season when Marie Osmond was on it and I got to watch her pass the fuck out on live television and it was great. But other than that, I don't waste my time with that shit. However, I may have to make an exception this year because they have announced their lineup and someone will be dancing that I simply cannot resist watching. No it's not Bristol Palin or The Situation or even Margaret Cho that has made my panties moist. It's Florence fucking Henderson. You know The Bitchy Waiter loves him some Carol Brady. I just do. As proven here. Oh Florence, why won't you call me? Why won't you come to my station and let me serve you? Why are you not my best friend?

Okay, I just needed you to know about that. Carry on.


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10 comments:

Kalei's Best Friend said...

I remember seeing her on a plane .. We were leaving Vegas.. They wouldn;'t let anyone on the plane because some vip was getting on first... Guess who? Hate to burst your bubble- she came off like a pretentious biatch... did u know her co actor the one who played her oldest on Brady Bunch confessed to having the hots for her back when he was on the show???
Somehow I can't see her on DWTS... the 11th season lineup is a real doozy...

California Girl said...

hahahahahaha! Love that.

In keeping with your theme, my word ver is: hotillsy

Drewcifer said...

I would knock boots with Florence Henderson everyday of the week! With Wesson oil too.

Mind Of Mine said...

Ooooh the line up looks real good - Audrina.

Corey from thats so Raven got hella ugly!

Queen of the Rant said...

I cannot wait for my shows to come back-gossip girl, 90210, I am hopeless when it comes to this horrible tv, but I love it

Donda said...

I am a bit disappointed that Big Brother is not on your list of must watch TV. I only watched one episode of DWTS...when Kate wore that pink catastrophe. Looked like she took a tumble into a glass of strawberry milk!

Shanny said...

Wipeout is awesome! Big balls ROCK!!

Mary A. said...

I only liked that show the season that Paul McCartney's ex-wife was on. Because I wanted to see her rubber leg fall off & get embarassed and lose millions of dollars.

Also, I love Apollo Ono. So I watched him.

But Carol? Guess I'll have to watch.

Jenn said...

You are too funny. I love reading your blog, always makes me laugh out loud! I don't know how I found you on blogspot, but I am glad I did.

blue-eyes said...

This is the first time I watched DWTS also. But I watched for "Shoulda Kept the Nose" Jennifer Grey. She and Mrs. Brady did pretty well, but I won't be watching again.

Big Balls, for the win!