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Wednesday, August 25, 2010

My Job Stinks

You know that smell we all have after a long day at the job? It's a smell that anyone who has ever worked in a restaurant is intimately familiar with. It smells like the storage room and it has a musty, musky, produce-y, fajita-y smell. When I got off work last night and got onto the N train, the whole car smelled like that. Perhaps a busboy convention was happening somewhere in the city and they had all just let out because when the subway door opened I was hit across the face with the odor. Once on the train, I noticed that about two thirds of us were quite clearly just getting off work. The guy next to me was wearing all black just like myself. Two guys across from me were wearing those kitchen pants that are like a black and white hounds tooth check pattern. I saw at least three other people wearing black pants and white shirts and then one bitch had on khakis and a polo shirt. All she was missing was some high top sneakers, suspenders and some flair and she could have stepped out of Bennigan's circa 1988. She may have just made a bad fashion choice though, not sure. Right then and there I decided that the time had come to stop wearing my uniform on the train. It's just such a pain in the ass to carry it with me. And I never want to leave my uniform at work because there are always people who forget theirs one day and then go to the closet and put on someone else's. An apron sure, no biggie. But don't be wearing my pants. I don't need some gal getting her panty pudding all up in my uniform pants. Honey mustard, yes,. Panty pudding, no.

At 59th Street, someone got on who smelled like bar-b-q. Is there even a bar-b-q place at 59th Street? Or did someone just roll around in a vat of liquid smoke? Either way, not good. I wanted to spritz some fucking Axe body spray all over that train car. I hate the smell of Axe body spray, but I hate the smell of bar-b-q/bus boy/fajita/waiter even more.

You all know the smell, right?



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18 comments:

Kalei's Best Friend said...

LOL, well it coulda been BK or McD's smell...I hear ya... AXE would of just enhanced the smell- so u get bbq/fajita w/Axe mixed in....lol that's enough to get that gag reflex going..

Donda said...

Where the hell do you work that folk will wear your clothes? Steal your pop out of the breakroom refrigerator I can see but your shirt, forreal?

Rachel said...

When we get off work and drag our asses into our local watering hole, I heard someone once refer to the smell when we walked by. A cross of stale beer, meat and french fries. Not a bad combo if you ask me.

NayNay said...

I cannot stop laughing over "panty pudding." OMG, I have tears in my eyes!

Bob said...

Know it? I've given myself Silkwood scrubdowns trying to wash it off!

Levonne said...

Bitchy Waiter, I continue to be amazed at how in-touch you are with your environment and your own mind! Wonderful! If you have a few minutes, come by and meet Jonathan and Nellie Tate - The Midlife Cruisers at my blog - A Camp Host Housewife's Meanderings http://acamphosthousewifesmeanderings.blogspot.com/. Take care...

The Bartender said...

Atomic Wings?

Also, you should know that the automatic links under this post say "Vagina Odor." Heh.

The Chick in the Chair Perspective said...

My soon to be has referred to it a " love sauce" but never "Panty Pudding" I nearly spit my drink on my computer when I read that OMG how funny.
I agree AXE sticks. my teenage son wears it and it is so strong I tell him he reaks like a $3.00 whore...lol

The Old Spice After Hours smells nice... you might wanna give that a shot... happy travels!

?? said...

I love you- sexually obviously. Thanks for the laughs! And I know that smell all too well...

The Ranter's Box said...

After you publish a collection of your awesome blog posts I think you should definitely create a Bitchy Waiter dictionary. I'm still laughing over 'panty pudding'. However do you come up with this stuff??

http://rantersbox.blogspot.com

Oh My Gosh! Can You Believe It? said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Manda said...

I know that smell all too well. Its bad when you even notice it will working. But what I hate even more that the "smell", is when my face gets all oily- wtf?! Does the oil from the fryer evaporate in the kitchen and make a mist all over my face? Is it just me??

L said...

I put deodorant under my tits before I go to work to help prevent that. Yum.

Alexandra said...

I love bbq smell!!! mmmm yummy
although maybe not for perfume..

Alexandra

http://alexandrascomplaintsoftheday.blogspot.com/

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Kim said...

So that's what that smell is! I'm suprised the windows of the train weren't open so as to mask the just-off-work-stench with the acrid smell of the subway. But, I guess Axe works well too...good thing it comes in a variety of scents but too bad they don't sell it in spritzer-size.

Haruka said...

When I worked at KFC/Taco Bell, I always came out smelling like chicken. I'd get into the car for my wife to drive me home and she'd say, "You smell good." -_-;

hed. said...

omg I always smelled like fajitas when I got off work. I remember one day my friend was in my car and said, "did you bathe in onions?" I used to work in a casino where everyone smoked, and I would choose fajita stank over cigarette stank any day!