There is a television commercial out there that pretty much just confirms what we all know already: waiting tables sucks ass. It's an ad for AT&T and they say every second counts. Have you seen this shit? It's basically a rip off of that crappy ass movie Sliding Doors that Gweneth Paltrow did a few years ago. The ad shows this woman who is downloading something on her phone and since she isn't using the miracle that is AT&T, her download takes too much time and the opportunity of a lifetime passes her right by. Because she is using some other crap service (T-Mobile, probably...) she does not meet the people who could turn her into a big time fancy ass ballerina diva bitch and instead she ends up being...wait for it...wait for it...a server. That's right. If only she would have used AT&T all of her dreams would have come true but instead she has to wear a white shirt and black tie and be a waitress. In bad lighting. With a sour look on her face. Call me a purist, but I think she needs more than AT&T to make it as ballet dancer. Her technique is poor and her turn out is awful. And I know. I took two semesters of ballet in 1986 and I also watch So You Think You Can Dance.
The point is, why did they choose waitress as her alternative career? Should we take offense? What if they would have shown her as a kindergarten teacher and she was all depressed and miserable passing out coloring books to snot nosed brats? Then the teachers of America would rise up and cry out that they have been insulted. What if they showed her as nurse who hated being at her job? Or a bus driver? These other occupations were not chosen for her "loser life" because the advertisers thought that the most pathetic career she could have instead of ballet dancer is that of waitress. And they also figured that most servers would see the commercial and be like, "yep, my job sucks. I better go get me some AT&T in my life, pronto." At the end of the commercial, she is shown sitting in a theater watching a ballet instead of dancing in it. Watching her dreams from afar. And probably smelling like fajita. I say be proud of your waitress career, girl. At least you don't work at a fucking Houlihan's. Or Pizzeria Uno. Carry that tray with pride. Even though it is a far cry from the life you expected, wanted, worked towards, dreamed about or cried for. You're a waitress. With shitty cell phone service. Can you hear me now?
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