Sifting Through Craigslist

I am always on the prowl for a new job, be it waiting tables, selling pottery at a trade show, putting on a huge trash can costume to walk in the Macy's parade or getting paid to make some pillows because someone posted on Craigslist that she needed that done. And yes, I sewed pillows for her. Met her ass at a Starbuck's, picked up the fabric and her designs and two days later got paid $150 for throwing together some ugly ass pillows for her daybed. And the trash can gig? Yes, it's real too. The proof is in the picture. Seriously, there needs to be a Craigslist app for my phone because I am on that bitch all the time. Here is what has caught my eye lately in my quest for employment:

We are holding an open house TODAY for Servers, Dishwashers, Porters, and Prep! Interview and get hired ASAP! Open House hours are from 12:00pm-5:00.
Okay, this will be a huge cluster fuck shit show. Don't bother. There will be about 200o people there, they will take your resume and then never call you. Don't waste your time.

Looking for experianced reliable waiter/waitress for busy resturant. Experiance with mediterranean or Turkish food a plus. Full time/ Part time
Why the hell would you want to work for someone who can't even spell the word "restaurant" correctly? And they also misspelled experience. These people are dumbasses who will never get your paycheck right. Stay away.

Looking for young, attractive, and experienced bartender/server to work at a fast paced popular spots bar. Please email resume with a picture.
In other words, we are looking for a girl with big tits.


We have a position open for a female daytime bartender ,their will be 3-4 shifts per week ,N,Y,C FOOD PROTECTION PREFERRED , ALSO N,Y,C EXPERIENCE A PLUS ,
This person does not know the difference between a period and a comma or the difference between "there" and "their" either. And I don't think I know what the hell "food protection" is. Can someone chime in with they're definition for that? Thanks, I appreciate, that, a, lot.


We are seeking a Part time dishwasher to help with restaurant setup and cleaning . Ideal candidate Must be available fridays 4-11pm and sundays 9-3pm. Must have transportation and proper documents to work. $10 per hour and meals included. Approx 13 hours per weekend. Position available October 8 2010 and ends in June 2011.
This sounds pretty good to me. The Bitchy Dishwasher? I like it. I wonder why the job is only for eight months though. The current dishwasher must have gotten knocked up.

And these are just the ones that were in food/beverage/hospitality. If you want to see some real winners, you gotta look under ETC, creative, and events. Wish me luck as I peruse the listings in search of the next great job. Or at the very least, the next great blog posting.
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