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Saturday, September 11, 2010

Sorry, We're Out of That

Someone sent me a picture last week (Theresa, maybe? Thank you.) and it jogged my memory of some bitch in my station years ago. Sometimes restaurants run out of things. We don't plan it, we don't like it and we don't do it on purpose. But sometimes shit happens and you run out of meatloaf or something. A lady ordered a Cobb salad. I had to let her know that we were out of avocado so if that was going to ruin the whole aesthetic of her salad, then maybe she should order something else. Well the lack of avocado was not okay with her. "You're out of avocado? How can you be out of avocado? Aren't you a restaurant? I don't understand how someone could let that happen." What I didn't understand was how not getting avocado in a salad was anything other than no big deal. Had I told her we had run out of oxygen and we were on our last breaths, sure. Or maybe if we were out of water, that would be weird. But avocado? Move on, guacamole ho. I patiently waited for her to let me know if she wanted the salad sans avocado or if she would order something else and then I realized that her "how could this happen?" question was actual and not rhetorical. She stared at me waiting for a response.

"Uh, you know how sometimes at home you run out of milk even though you don't mean to? Maybe more people ate cereal than usual and then you baked a cake which took a lot of milk and before you knew it, you were out of it? That happens in restaurants too. I guess more people ordered guacamole than usual, so we ran out of avocados. That's how someone let it happen."

She grunted with dissatisfaction and then mentioned that there was grocery store nearby. Like I am going to hop skip and jump over there to get her a freakin' avocado. No, lady. If you are so familiar with the location of the grocery store, then maybe you should go there, buy the avocado along with everything else that you want in your goddamn salad and then go home and make it your fucking self. We're out of avocados so fucking deal with. It's not the end of the fucking world.

Another time a lady ordered a Chinese chicken salad which had been taken off the menu. She gasped when I told her. "Oh. My. God. I loved that salad. How horrible is that??" She looked like she was gonna cry. This was a few weeks after 9/11. I paused. "You know, in the scope of world events recently, I would say it's not horrible at all. You want something else?" She shut up. Bitch ordered a Cobb. We had avocado that day.




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26 comments:

Kalei's Best Friend said...

Love your come back lines... Maybe u should of told lady #1 that it was the buyer's fault for not ordering the avocados that day.. put the oneus on someone else... after all u are just the messenger... I think people are more at ease when there is a logical answer...Lady#2- touche to u!. u were right to say that.. bitchin/whining over something when there is something much more important out there... I'm kinda surprised she was out there feeding her face in public that soon after that tragedy...I'd be out wondering how my friends were doing.

matt said...

I worked at a restaurant called the "Old Spaghetti Factory" in San Diego. A couple of times we ran out of spaghetti. Try explaining that one when "Spaghetti Factory" is in the name of the place . . . Good times.

Regarding the avo-less Cobb salad. I ordered a sandwich at the deli counter in the grocery store a while back. The lady handed me a pencil and a form to fill out. It listed every possible ingredient.

I handed it back and said "No forms" just a sandwich - make it however you want - it's just a sandwich.

Best sandwich I have had in a long time . . .

HowLoverly said...

I don't understand why most people never bother to THINK about those things. It is a definite possibility that a restaurant will run out of things just the same as anyone's personal kitchen would. What, did you seriously think that our stockroom was a bottomless abyss? Of course not. So shut up, make up your mind or GTFO. :]

Molly Malone said...

People never stop being utterly ridiculous. It's almost comforting - it's about the one thing you can rely on...

Rita Pita said...

NO AVOCADO!!!!AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! What kind of douche gets all jumpy for that? She needs a good slap...and then possibly another. Followed by an uppercut. Violence can solve a whole lot more than it used to.

Mary A. said...

I didn't know cobb salads had avocado. Maybe I'll order one someday.

mmmmmm avocado.

BeMistified said...

Whew it's a good thing I don't like avocados. I will admit, one thing that I get upset over, within myself of course, is when the restaurant runs out of ranch dressing. Yeah I ♥ ranch dressing. I am a ranch-a-holic. Course I don't flip out and freak, I just order something else for I cannot have a salad without ranch.

Peggy said...

LMAO! That picture!! My husband is a manager of a bww. This actually happened a few weeks ago(although Im not sure if this pic was taken from that location at that time)They projected 40,000 that week and ended up doing 3 times that. I felt so sorry for him and the shit he had to put up with.

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Jodi said...

I worked at a movie theater once (I think I've said that before as I left a comment another time) and we ran out of popcorn. Yup! I asked someone to order it, but they kept forgetting! I had to get those microwavable bags, but those sucked when you're only able to pop 1 bag at a time!

Eleanor said...

I work at a salad bar, and we're always running out of things. My anal boss had big talk with us about how we handle that, because apparantly saying "sorry, we're out of tha"t makes us look bad, but saying "Im afraid we don't have any avocado(or whatever) available today, would you like to replace it with something else" is totally different, and somehow better

Elise-Lucie said...

I went to KFC once, a couple years ago, and they were out of chicken. That was surprising! But avocado? Meh.

Jamie said...

lmfao!!!!!!!!

The Ranter's Box said...

Shit happens, people need to get over it. ...My sister went to TMobile to change her phone number and the jackass people in the store told her they were out of phone numbers. Now that would be something to be concerned about. Avocado, not so much.

http://rantersbox.blogspot.com

Becoming Mommy said...

after working many years in food service, I understand restaurants run out of things. And that's cool. However, there are places which end up like a Monty Python sketch. One being the Starbucks where I now work. It is totally ridiculous.

They run out of coffee, milk, baked goods, and cups. At the same time. And then decide to remain open.
Now...if you're a Starbucks, how can you stay open without any of that?

Bagel Fairy said...

I love it when there's a line to the door and we run out of bread bowls or a certain type of bagel, and the bitches whine because they CAN'T believe we're out of something and "Oh my godddd that's my faaaaavorite why can't you make more???" as if I had a secret stash in the back. Of course, I get blamed and I just want to give them the first and last names of the people who came in and bought four dozen bagels that morning without calling ahead.

tina said...

I LOVE this post cuz it's so true! It's ONLY food people and not really the end of the world!!

Jacky Maille said...

Olives!!!

Anonymous said...

I once had a customer take out 10 dvd's and never bring them back. So we sent them to debt collection and charged full replacements and 30 days of over dues. The customer called me angry as hell, asking me why she is charged all of this. And I stated that when you take something that belongs to other people and you don't return it that is theft only it's theft where we just so happen to have **ALL** of your contact details.
Her response was to say that it wasn't theft and the law would never see it that way as that's not the definition of theft. I told her that taking something that doesn't belong to you and never giving it back is theft and you are being a thief. She told me to f-off and she hung up the phone. I then mailed her a copy of the Australian definition of theft and highlighted every applicable line.

Blitzen said...

I would have lifted my leg on Bitch #1.....(I am a Malamute after all...)

Jennifer said...

When I worked at Fazoli's I was working the drive thru and a lady accused me of stealing her $2. Of course I didn't steal her money, it was only $2!! So I had to get my boss and she made us count down the drawer IN THE DRIVE THRU to prove that I didn't steal it. I also had to clean out all my pockets so she could see that it wasn't in there. My boss just gave her the $2 out of his pocket...people are insane!

Xine said...

We managed to run out of propane one day cos the asshat delivery driver was super-late (he later told me that he was reaaally hungover, I just laughed). My boss still insisted that we open as scheduled, but told guests that we were only serving salads and coffee (and sodas).

Stephanie Belland said...

A couple of months ago, I had a customer order oatmeal with soy milk. We were out of soy milk. The owner of the restaurant sent her husband to safeway to get some. I'm not even kidding. Accommodating to a FAULT.

Anonymous said...

lololol amazing.... reading the comments, and everyones complaining about getting shafted for tips... while at the same time calling customers and delivery people bitches, asshats,jackasses, etc etc etc.. " i'd lift my leg to that bitch because i'm a malamute...

Tips?? from the sounds of it, most of you don't even deserve to work in a restaraunt... maybe get a job at the dog pound, cleaning up the malamute shit. Because most of you have no customer service skills... which is what you get tipped for.. providing good service, not juvenile insults. Grow up.

Unknown said...

I remember going to the a Canadian chain Swiss Chalet and they ran out of their special rotisserie chicken but even though they had other items on the menu most customers waited until they got chicken from their other location which took over an hour. Servers and the restaurant got screwed since tables did not turn but at least most people were happy they got their chicken in the end and the management comped just an order of drinks per effected tables.

Tricia said...

I work for a pizzeria, we have on several occasions run out of dough and so no dough, no pizza. People just don't understand. :)